Twin City Hive — Kappa juniors Sarah Jacobs, Elizabeth Hayes, Catherine Eastland, and Emily Rankin are no longer friends, citing irreconcilable differences after a fight over whose dad will front the deposit for their Posties room at the Avista Resort in Myrtle Beach.
Office of External Relations — After an abnormally long period of silence regarding who will be the 2018 commencement speaker, Wake Forest has officially announced that Oprah Winfrey in invisible form will take on the role.
Per the many signs planted around campus, the Business School’s Masters in Management program boasts a nearly perfect post-graduation employment rate at 99%.
Hearn Plaza — Tuesday at approximately 5:15 pm, campus was thrown into a frenzy as the chapel bells commenced playing a rendition of the Harry Potter theme song.
Sutton Center — It’s 4:48 PM. The lights at the court are beaming. Eight people in the crowd—this is the biggest one yet. There’s 30 seconds left in the men’s Intramural basketball championship game.
Fake Worest’s investigative team was magically able to uncover a sixth demand after reciting aloud all of Dante’s Inferno, chanting various Satanic rites, and spinning in a circle three times.
South Hall — With nearly every fraternity off campus for Beach Weekend, freshman Beta, Rebecca Miller, called home to her parents for the first time all semester.
Reynolds Gymnasium — Today around 1:15 pm, students noticed a Shorty’s waiter relaxing in the newly constructed hot tub for Phase III of the Reynolds Gym renovations.