Office of External Relations — After an abnormally long period of silence regarding who will be the 2018 commencement speaker, Wake Forest has officially announced that Oprah Winfrey in invisible form will take on the role.
“Even though you won’t be able to see her standing at the podium, I promise she will definitely, one hundred percent, without a doubt be there,” said President Hatch in an email to the Wake Forest community.
The announcement for the annual commencement speaker typically comes in March or early April at the latest, and Wake Forest seniors have been growing increasingly curious over the last several weeks without any word from the administration. For example, Stephen Colbert was announced as the 2015 commencement speaker on March 3 of that year. Approaching May, students were beginning to get nervous.
“I thought that the lack of communication meant that whoever was going to give our speech would be someone I’d never heard of, or worst case scenario, we wouldn’t even have a speaker,” said senior Molly Nixon. “I should never have doubted them!”
Questions still linger over why Oprah will be invisible at the 2018 graduation ceremonies, as this will be the first time Wake will break with its long history of exclusively visible speakers.
“Oprah said she wanted to be invisible so that people would focus on the graduating students more than they would focus on her incredible celebrity status,” said President Hatch. “It’s honestly really impressive that we were able to book her at all, so everyone just shut up and go with it, okay?”
When Fake Worest reached out to confirm the booking with Ms. Winfrey’s publicity team, the secretary on the phone responded, “What’s Wake Forest University?”
Fake Worest 