Following the retirement of Nathan O. Hatch from his role as President of Wake Forest University, Board of Trustees Chair Gerald F. Roach has announced that Betsy Adams is to become the 14th President of the University. “We as a Board sought to find the most qualified and well positioned candidates for this important vacancy,” he said. “We decided to remain open to internal candidates, and looked for individuals whom we believe to have experience in maintaining the University’s operations.”
Roach said that the Board found strong candidates as part of that internal search “Among the names we found to be good fits for the job, we discussed Ms. Adams’ name.” Roach continued, “can we just call her Betsy? I know this is an interview, but nobody on campus calls her anything other than her first name.”
The Board found Betsy’s qualifications as Director of Greek Life to be uniquely well-placed. The Board reasoned that since Greek life runs Wake Forest, and Betsy runs Greek Life, then by the transitive property, Betsy has already run Wake Forest for some time now.
“After close consultation and deliberation with the Math Department, we have determined that Betsy’s qualifications fall in line with the Transitive Property, and therefore make her the best candidate for the office of President of the University.”
“Oh god please no” – an anonymous DKE president responded when he heard the news.
Fake Worest 