10 Halloween Costumes to Wear to Your Next Commencement

1. The job you want- That’s right, put on one of your dad’s spare Rolexes, break out the gold cufflinks and hit the town!  You’re going to look good as the next Goldman Sachs executive as you receive that piece of paper on that cold Saturday in October!
2. The job you have- Chances are your entry-level financial analyst position at a low-level firm is not gonna pay the big bucks, but throw on a jacket, a slightly clashing tie, and be sure to post the photo to your Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn within 10 minutes of each other. 
3. A doctor- this one’s for you, Art History majors! Finally, your parents will see you in a fit that makes them proud of you for the first time in four years!
4. An alcoholic- upset that college is over because of a cough? Go as a group costume– the class of 2020 will be sporting the alcoholic do-up as a reminder that their drinking habits didn’t carry over safely into the work world.
5. A zombie– did you have to take off work for this shit, have to be back on Monday and there’s still work to do this weekend? Embrace the corporate lifestyle with charm by dressing the same way you feel, people love authenticity. 
6. A degree– just so you know what it’s like to be held again for the first time in so long. 
7. The same outfit you wore to “The Date” function– why not try to get all the holidays in while you’re at it? Easter? Sure. Christmas? Sounds fun! Boxing day? Well, we are a culturally-inclusive school (on paper)!
8. Joe Exotic- the cultural void of the pandemic probably has you idolizing a man who hired someone to kill his enemy. Why not fully lean into the only significant thing that’s happened these past few months? Grab your worst shirt, the hair clippings from when you buzzed your head back in March, 4 packs of clip-on piercings, and hit the town!
9. The outfit you wore to your freshman year Halloween party- that’s right, we DARE you to put on your Brett Farve jersey and a pair of khakis to receive your BA in Econ because your calc grade excluded you from the B-school.
10. Slutty *educated* cat– yeah, you may be a sexy feline who all the men swoon for, but you can also explain the socioeconomic consequences of the Vietnam War on Southeast Asia like ~no one else can~.