Hearn Plaza — Students who found themselves on Hearn Plaza Saturday evening were startled to see freshman Daniel Friedman logrolling the length of the quad, shouting “GO DEACS!” as he went.
Apparently no one had bothered during orientation to clarify to Daniel what “rolling the quad” actually entailed, although it seems obvious that it wouldn’t be literally rolling on the ground.
The incident occurred at approximately 4:15, just seconds after the Demon Deacon Football Team won an away game at Boston College. Witnesses say they saw Daniel burst out of Johnson Hall and sprint to the upper quad upon seeing the 34-10 victory on TV. Once there, he immediately fell to the ground outside Reynolda and began rolling towards Wait Chapel.
“Clearly he didn’t read Forestry 101,” said Alana Tripoli, freshman know-it-all and tour-guide-hopeful.
This is not the first time Daniel has struggled with literalism. Last year during his high school’s performance of Little Shop of Horrors, Daniel was deeply offended and quite paranoid when a peer told him to “break a leg” before his big number.
“It’s exhilarating finally being able to take part in this cherished Wake Forest tradition,” said Daniel breathlessly after he had rolled to Wait Chapel and pushed himself up from the ground. “The school spirit here is tremendous—hey, what the heck?! Those guys are throwing toilet paper on the trees! Get out of here, punks!”
Daniel then took off screaming towards his fellow, more perceptive students.
Fake Worest 