Bostwick Hall — A freshman boy is really pissing off everyone around him because he won’t say anything besides “I’m from Texas.”
It is unclear at this point whether freshman Caleb Johnson’s refusal to say anything else is due to a limited grasp on the English language or part of an elaborate scheme to be the second most disliked person in his class, the first being that one kid who posted a lot in the Facebook group over the summer.
In addition to only saying “I’m from Texas” and nothing else, Caleb has signaled his state heritage in a number of other ways. For example, Caleb hung a Texas flag on his dorm wall, wears a Texas hat at all times except when the national anthem is playing, and also carries a hunting rifle with him everywhere. In fact, the only time someone has ever indicated that they didn’t think he was from Texas was a joke, when one of Caleb’s fellow student advisees sarcastically asked, “Hey, are you from Texas?” Everyone except Caleb laughed.
Last Thursday, Caleb and a group of his hall mates went to the Porch. One hall mate, Garrett McIntyre, made a comment about how great the Porch’s Tex Mex was. Multiple sources who were present at the dinner reported that Caleb burst out laughing, shook his head in apparent disagreement, and then calmly poured the queso they had ordered in the trash.
Upon further investigation, it was revealed that Caleb’s “Top 10” portion of his Wake Forest application consisted of his “Top 10 States That Should Be Countries.” All ten were Texas.
Apparently, Wake Forest rewards one’s singularity of vision, as is also evident by its admittance of 5,000 students looking to study abroad in Barcelona.
Fake Worest 