Bostwick Hall — The Office of Sustainability announced Monday that the new energy efficient lights in Bostwick will just be existing lights that no longer work. “This upgrade is another way that Wake will continue to demonstrate environmental consciousness,” explained Chief Sustainability Officer Dedee Johnston, watching fondly as students threw rolls and rolls of toilet paper on the upper quad trees. “We feel that there’s no better place on campus to honor Mother Earth than Bostwick, which is home to more than 28 unique species of mold.” The energy efficient lights add to a growing list of university initiatives aimed at making the campus greener, including distributing green recycling bins to freshmen and forcing them to walk three miles whenever they want to drive their cars. “Bostwick in particular has a lot of potential for implementing sustainable practices,” continued Johnston. “To reduce water usage, we’re discouraging facilities from replacing any of the broken toilets. We’re also hoping to phase out showers over the next four years.” At press time, residents of South and Angelou Residence Halls were seen laughing hysterically at the news.
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